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George Baker
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I Am the Very Model! (From 'The Pirates of Penzance')
I am the very model of a modern Major-General, I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral, I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical, I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical, About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news, (bothered for a rhyme) With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.
(With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse)
I'm very good at integral and differential calculus; I know the scientific names of beings animalculous: In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral, I am the very model of a modern Major-General.
(In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral, He is the very model of a modern Major-General.)
I know our mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's; I answer hard acrostics, I've a pretty taste for paradox, I quote in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus, In conics I can floor peculiarities parabolous; I can tell undoubted Raphaels from Gerard Dows and Zoffanies, I know the croaking from The Frogs of Aristophanes! Then I can hum a fugue of which I've heard the music's din afore, (bothered for arhyme)
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore. Find more lyrics at ※ Mojim.com
(And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore.) Then I can write a washing bill in Babylonic cuneiform, And tell you ev'ry detail of Caractacus's uniform In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I am the very model of a modern Major-General. (In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
He is the very model of a modern Major-General.) In fact, when I know what is meant by 'mamelon' and 'ravelin', When I can tell at sight a Mauser rifle from a javelin, When such affairs as sorties and surprises I'm more wary at, And when I know precisely what is meant by 'commissariat', When I have learnt what progress has been made in modern gunnery, When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery – In short, when I've a smattering of elemental strategy –
(bothered for a rhyme) You'll say a better Major-General has never sat a gee (You'll say a better Major-General has never sat a gee) For my military knowledge, though I'm plucky and adventury, Has only been brought down to the beginning of the century; But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral, I am the very model of a modern Major-General. (In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral, He is the very model of a modern Major-General.)
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